9

Irish Job Application
Murphy applied for a fermentation operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.  An American applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar

qualifications, they were asked to take a test by the Manager.  When the results were in, amazingly, both men had only one wrong answer.
The manager went to Murphy and said,

"Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the American the job."
Murphy,

"And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job."
Manager,

"We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."
Murphy, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?
Manager, "Simple. On question number 7 the American wrote down, 'I don’t know.' "
You put down, "Neither do I."

London Times Obituary For The Late Mr. Common Sense

 

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies: adults, not children, are in charge.
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.  Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.  It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals

received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,

Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.  He is survived by his 4

stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A

Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.  If you still    

remember him, pass this on.  If not, join the majority and do nothing.'