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ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659

CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case come up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, ‘Well your Honor, it was this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, The Double Mint Twins are coming and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling, ‘ and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, ‘ William’s Big Stick Did the Trick, ‘ and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident’….. I just lost it.

‘CASE DISMISSED!!!

 

 

 

 

 

My robot’s misbehaving

It won’t do as I say

It will not dust the furniture

Or put my toys away

 

My robot never helps me

With homework or my chores.

It doesn’t do my laundry

And neglects to clean my floors.

 

It claims it can’t cook dinner

It never makes my bed

No matter what I ask of it

It simply shakes its head

 

My robot must be broken

I’ll need to get another

Until that day, I have to say

I’M GLAD I HAVE MY MOTHER.